The (R)evolution of the Working Mom

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I’ve been reflecting on the long line of working moms in my family. The evolution of the working mom, like those no-nonsense heroines I grew up with, really resonates for me and my fellow women business owners. We take for granted that work and opportunity are available to us, but it’s the working moms that came before us that we need to reflect on today so that tomorrow’s generation of young women dreaming of opening their own businesses can thrive and grow beyond our own limits.

The women in my family are amazing. No slackers or complainers here! Both sides have several generations of hard working New England stock that keeps their heads down and gets the job done – whatever that job may be, however unglamorous or tedious. My grandmother was the chief nurse at a large city hospital in eastern Connecticut. I had the opportunity to stay there once in 1968 when I got my tonsils out. Even though she snuck in extra ice cream and checked on me at night, I can still remember the bracing sound of the scattering of young nurses when I’d hear her crisp white uniform and sensible shoes patrolling the halls. When I got my first job after college, she congratulated me and told me not to just fetch coffee and to learn how to do the boss’s job as soon as possible. She couldn’t cook, didn’t drive, and was just an OK housewife, but Gramma was smart and strong and feminine all at the same time, and her granddaughters worshipped her.

I am the only women I know of in my family to have my own business. I’d like to claim that it is my vehement entrepreneurialism that has caused me to be as self-motivated as I am. The truth is, it was my incorrigible reputation as the worst employee on the planet (as well as my being a relatively young single mother) that drove me to work for myself for the last 23 years. I tell folks that I am the mean boss who makes me work late. Honestly, work has been my haven and my therapy for as long as I can remember. Besides, if I don’t like what I’m doing, I should create a different company to work in, right?

One of the advances in the last 10-15 years that has really changed the landscape of opportunity and productivity of home office moms is technology. The revolutionary freedoms and flexibility that we take for granted now were not available as recently as 16 years ago. Today, we assume that we can work when and where we need to – and meet every possible goal and deadline – because of the Internet and information technology. Moreover, our self-governance, self-determination, and control over our careers far exceed any workplace options previously available to our counterparts from earlier points in history.

Like most working mothers, I did not work because I was bored or wanted some time away from home. I needed to work. The decisions and opportunities in my work life (and my decision to work for myself) were greatly influenced and formed by my life as a mother as well. I chose to work from a home office and be there for my kids when they were young. Consulting was the best way for me to be the mom and the business owner that I wanted to be. There are 45 million two-income families make up the common thread of the American fabric today. “According to data collected by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 59% of women now work or are actively seeking employment.” This is up from 38% just a generation ago.* Furthermore, currently there are over 10.6 million women-owned businesses employing 19.1 million people and generating $2.5 trillion in sales. And we did it our way. Having our own businesses allowed us the freedom to make our own hours and give ourselves the raises we needed to keep our children in Gap t-shirts and soccer cleats. Besides, being our own bosses allowed us to be the “Room Mom” all morning and stay up late to meet deadlines the next day.

Still, we are not done. The inequities that we face come from many different directions. The fees we are expected to charge for our consulting services are far less than my male counterparts. Financiers (men and women) have asked me on numerous occasions when my husband will be arriving, as if they assume that his working with me means that I am his subordinate. Even the male partners I’ve had have muscled in and tried to take over my business. Sound familiar?

I am hopeful about what the future holds for women to have both a successful life as a mother and a business owner alike. I am cautiously confident that the strides and sacrifices we’ve made – and all of the sacrifices of those who came before us – will positively affect the landscape of opportunity that future generations face.

We must never forget those who came before us. Thank you, and happy Mother’s Day!


______________________________________________
* Pew Research Center, Pew Social and Demographic Trends, October 1, 2009: “The Harried Life of the Working Mother “ Kim Parker.